I wasn't kidding when I said changes

there's changes happening everywhere I will be moving soon and just starting a completely new chapter of my life no make that starting a whole new entire book!!!! there will be exciting happy twist and turns with every page so stay tuned that's all I have to say for now!!!

Change is gonna come..

I couldn't even tell you exactly tell you how long ago it was that I discovered the secret, I wanna say it was in 2005 maybe, but I remember the night sitting in my living room and finding the documentary that changed my life. I really took hold of what I learned that night . And it still amazes me what a difference it made. Changeling your thought process really makes a world of change. I wish it was easier done then said. You have more negative thoughts then you think you do when you pay attention. It simply takes practice, lots of practice to turn them around. Sometimes you don't realize your effecting your surroundings negatively . " ugh I'm so tired today " ... That statement doesn't exactly seem negative but your putting it out there that " your tired" , well the universe responds and you stay tired . I know seems so simple right! So when the tired feeling comes over you just say the opposite " I'm feeling so awake and refreshed" keep repeating it , imagine in your mind what it feels like to feel wide awake and refreshed , eventually your body has no choice but to respond to what your mind is thinking. Like I said it takes practice , lots of it!!! So when I first learned about the Secret I practiced and practiced, and my life was changing everything was getting better . It stayed that way for a long time. I guess I got to comfortable and feel very badly out of practice. I am back at it . It's not something that you can do a lil here and there and expect it to work, and once it's working for you , you have to keep at it, there's no automatic happiness button, you have to work at it. Every lil bit counts. A positive thought is a thousand times stronger then a negative one. Just since I started blogging again I feel uplifted. The good thing about staying in practice is there is no glass ceiling, you can only keep getting happier and bringing abundance into your life. The saying you can do anything you set your mind to is true. But if your mind is in a dark space then that's what your life will be surrounded by is darkness. So make an effort to bring light into your life. Think happy thoughts!!! Practice makes perfect!

Freaky Friday

It's the weekend TGIF !! Not really a whole lot going I on but one of my favorite shows! Ghost adventures! It's helps that the guys on the show are not to bad to look at lol I like the show Taps too, but I feel like they try to hard to debunk things and maybe over debunk. I don't need proof of the paranormal I have experienced so much of it through out my life. As far back as I can remember I have seen or heard ghost, not neccassarily full body apparitions. But lots of things out of the corner of my eye type stuff or other strange happenings. In a house I lived in a few years back I was all alone and there weren't any near bye neighbors and the tv and stearo were not on, plain as day very loudly I hear " stop" , I stopped what I was doing and looked up and even the dog that was laying at my feet looked up with her ears perked so she heard it too! I said " hello?" Heard nothing I said " stop what?" and still didn't hear anything lol so I went about my buisness. It didn't startle me I know most of the time they just want to be noticed. My husband on the other hand would have been running out of the house lmao! When I was very young 3 I think I would see a lady in the basement of our house she would appear on the wall as if she where a picture, she would summon me " come here Kelly I want to talk to you" . I remember it well, she would come often. I was always to scared to go see what she wanted. I would run to my mom and my mom would never find anyone, she never appeared to anyone but me. For years I hoped to find out who she was and during a deep trance reading ( I wasn't in a trance the reader was lol) told me she was my twin from a past life. It was very cool to learn. The house I live in now I swear must have been built on sacred grounds or there's just a lot of energy for spirits to use because of the lake , I'm not sure but not a day goes by that I don't see or hear something or something strange doesn't happen. 2 days after moving in we were sleeping in huge living room and about 4 am the front door just slowly creeps open. What made me open my eyes and look is I thought I heard foot steps near the door like maybe the dog, the house was silent no one up and moving, I remember my son locking the door before he went up to bed lol I woke up my hubby and he looked around and found nothing and shut and re locked the door and was of course totally freaked out . It would be cool if one of these ghost buster shows would get something solid undeniable on record one day but I doubt that will ever happen. There's Toni's of evidence out there that is wonderful but there will always be a skeptic in the crowd. Oh well it will be cool to pass on and get to be a ghost and walk through walls and scare people and shit lol have a good weekend everyone happy haunts!!

Ugh more snow!!

And it's snowing again , it's I really coming down out there, the news said 5- 6 inches maybe! I have to laugh because I don't know why I am surprised lol it sure ain't the city up up here, even though they have got as much snnow downstate as we have this year. I don't really mind I think the snow is beautiful . I just don't like it on the roads and when it turns icy. The ice makes it difficult to get up and down my ramp in my wheelchair, even with salt it don't really help. Ice on the roads scares the shit out of me and I just assume not go anywhere at all. Now I know why bears hibernate in the winter. I am a home body I like being at home, I am the type of person if you wanna hang out then come to my house, I don't mind company at all. But I think I'm getting just a tad bit of cabin fever. I like my monthly shopping trips lol I recently went down state to pick up my daughter she was staying with her gram over the holiday break. My plan was to stay all weekend but had to cut it short and leave Saturday afternoon cuz the snow storm was coming. We made it home safe and missed all the bad weather thank goodness. The next day I didn't think we had got hit that bad up here so I decide I'm going to go the 20 miles to Mt Pleasant to go to Walmart and Sams club. Well I made it about 10 miles down the freeway to the next city and was freaking out he whole way, the roads were horrible , I got off the freeway and took the back way home so 20 miles round trip later it had been almost 2 hours, I could only go 10 15 miles per hour. I miss my envoy with 4 wheel drive, I wouldn't have went any faster but if I did end up off the road I know I would have been able to get out of a sticky situation. Don't get me wrong I love my sexy black Chrysler but she don't love the bad roads lol. Like I said I'm not surprised about the snow it was actually something I was looking forward to. The first time I ever came up here with my friends to visit, it was in the winter, I was in awe of the snow, it wasn't all black and dirty like it gets downstate from the traffic. People were on their roofs shoveling that was a site to see lol. We spent the night at my friends in laws and they lived kinda out in the woods. When I woke up in the morning ( I was sleeping on the couch), I sat up looked out the window and I was absolutely mesmerized !!!! It was like something on a Christmas card a winter wonderland, there were snow covered pine trees all over , a pretty lil frozen pond out front, sparking iceicles and it was lightly snowing. I just sat there for what seemed like at least an hour, it was quiet and peaceful, so relaxing. Well everyone else in the house started to wake and the day started. Later my fri end and I were talking and I brought up how I had been sitting just enjoy ingot he scenery, and she had been in the bedroom looking out the window doing the same thing as me. I said that day that I was gonna live up here one day, well here I am snowed in lol I think we will be investing in snowmobiles before next winter, they would be a blast! Don't get me wrong I miss being downstate in the city, there a lot easier and more convienatly access to things and I can't say I will stay here forever , I never know when my other personality ( I'm a Gemini ) might pop in and say fuck this shit we are out lol ! Plus my momma is down there so I go as often as possiable . Well there has already been so much schooled cancelled everywhere up here I don't know if it will be a snow day tommorow or not. Downstate if it's 3 inches they usually call a snow day but not up here, I'm not sure with 5 inches if they will close or not. My daughter always says the bus driver can't drive so it makes me a nervous wreck the thought of her on that bus if it's bad out, so we will see she might be haveing to get drove by us the next couple days. Excuse the typos I have know idea why it's giving me such a hard time editing, I click were I want to edit or spell check and the curser ends up somewhere totally different then I can't get it to move, it's like the damn thing has a mind of its own ugh!

Monday isn't always bad...

Well my days and nights have been totally mixed up, I finally fell asleep at a decent hour last night and stayed awake when I woke up this morning after getting Gracie off to school. I need to try to keep my self motivated so I got my ass off the couch took my shower and made my dinner for the next two nights, and then got the kitchen all nice and cleaned and cleaned the bathroom and now it is only a few minutes before 1 in the afternoon and I am amazed at how much I actually did today, it feels pretty good. I think I might even crack a cold one lol After a few important phone calls I have to make I will be done for the day. Ohhhh what did I make you ask... Well for tonight's dinner I made stuffed cabbage which isn't one of the things I specialize in lol it usually falls apart and ends up being cabbage soup it's good but not quit like my moms or grams would have made. This time I did it a lil different and it didn't fall apart hopefully it taste as good as it looks. I also made a meat loaf for tommorow dinner but I think the kids will dip into it tonight, I don't think they will eat the stuffed cabbage. My meatloaf is actually a specialty, it's a simple recipe and I don't always do it exactly the same depending on the ingredients I have on hand but rather the ketchup I use Catalina dressing in the mix and BBQ sauce on top, it usually is very yummy. I pride myself on my cooking , I am not an expert chef there has been a few things I have botched lol but for the most part I don't get any complaints. My grandma was a god cook I learned a lot from her, but I learned most everything from my mother she has always been an amazing cook. She had a catering business for several years and was at high demand. I wished she would have had a chance to open a Resturant I know she wanted to but unfortunalty it never happened. Actually I think she learned a lot from my granny ( my dads mom) she had a lot of kids and always cooked big and cooked good as a lot of southern mommas do. There's a lot of good cooks in my family lol that's prob why we're all fat! All that good down home southern comfort food, which you know damn well most of it ain't healthy lol. My daughter is becoming a very good cook to, she likes spending time with my mom and they cook together, they are very close I'm so glad they have that bond. If you ask Grace she will tell you she's a better cook then me lol she says " anyone can cook but not everyone can make it taste good" . Which is a true statement lol so we always have a joke when one of us is cooking about wether it's gonna taste good or not . She's a comedian half the time and a lil snot the other half... Bipolar runs in the family too lol. Well that's all for today peeps Again I have to add I'm haveing trouble editing to excuse the typos

Day n night

I love my son and daughter. Grace is doing so good in school she has lots of friends and seems to actually like it now. I remember my freshman year in school. While I have never been a fan of school, I came home on the first day of kindergarten and too my mom " it's ok but I don't think I will go everyday.." Lol and I never did! But if I had to pick a time at school from what I can remember freshman years would be my favorite. Anyways back to to Grace... I hope she continues to enjoy school. I feel bad because she has had to change schools so many times, but then again she is a social butterfly and has friends all over the map! She is a smart cookie though and she is like me makes the best of any situation, she is smarter then me in many ways ( the lil shit) she has way more street smarts or world knowledge or whatever then I did when I was her age. I have always said she is an old soul. I know she will comin tie to flourish and really make herself something one day. My son Coty he is a whole different breed of kid! Well he's not a kid no more :( he is a grown ass man, he will be 19 this year... I was 19 when I had him omg I feel old! He has always been a good kid , very rarely would I really have to scold him for anything. Well some of the few things that do I have to look back and laugh. For example I woke up about 4 am one day, Coty was 4 or 5 and he was in the living room, I asked him what is he doing. I don't recall him answering but he was playing with our birds, one was o it flying around and the other was in his pocket.... Yup I said pocket lol. But he really was just playing he loves animals, he always had some random rotten or bug or whatever caught outside, when he was like 12 he would wake me up at the break of dawn on the weekends to let me know he was going snake hunting lol. We had a lil tiny piece of wooded area and pond by us and that's were he went . He is still an animal lover he currently has 4 snakes as pets . I say he's a different breed of kid because, he really is. 99 percent of the kids his age are a mess, partying, drugs, haveing baby's, already been arrested a few times, the list goes on. Coty has done none of that. He is so chill, he likes hanging at home. I'm not trying to make it sound like he is some sort of hermit or something, he likes going places as a family when we do stuff, I'm glad my son likes hanging with us. He has friends don't get me wrong, Coty is very likeable, people enjoy his company he doesn't give anyone any reason not to like him. Don't let his big teddy bear ass fool ya, I feel sorry for that first person that crosses the line with him, I can see him opening a can of whoop ass on someone like no other, he is as strong as a damn ox. I have always said how strong my husband is and Coty is way stronger! He might live at home till he's forty but that's ok lol like I said people like Coty he is fun to hang out with and actually when he gets going he is fucking hilarious he is always cracking us up over something. Well I love both my kids so much with all my heart on soul, I have no idea what I would do with out them!!!! *again a side note I'm haveing a hard time editing for some reason so excuse the typos...

Back for now

Wow it's been awhile, I actually forgott about my blog:( I don't kin what reminded me of it but here I am , don't know how often I will be back but I'm here for now lol. Well it's a new year thank goodness, 2013 totally sucked, I will not go into to much detail because there's no point, it won't change anything, so now lessons learned and moving on. My eyes were opened about a lot of fake people friends and family people I thought that would be by my side no matter what but when things got tough the fake got going, no matter I'm still me in all my greatness I don't need drama or people that think their lives are so great and problem free that they can't be bothered with my problems, not that I ever asked or ever will ask anything of anyone but true friends and family stick by you no matter what and wow did I really find out who those people are. Looking forward to this year and the potential for all good things. Over the last couple years I have greatly lost touch with practicing The Secrect and all the powers that positive thoughts hold and what happens to you when you hold on to negativity. I am slowly retraing my self to embrace only positive thoughts. It's so much easier said then done, especially when you dig yourself a hole as deep as I did lol it not only effected myself but my family, most importantly my kids, so if not for any other reason for them i am getting back on track!! I am determined to be happy I am happy I am healing 2014 is not just a new chapter of a book, it's a whole new damn book, get ready bitches lol I never read 50 shades of gray but it won't have anything on me lol wait was that book about sex ? Lol idk but I know it got everyone excited so I'm all about getting excitted ( not that way , get your mind out of the gutter ) ! Ok I'm off for now . There's some editing in this post that needs to be done but it's giving me a hard time so sorry for any confusion